I’ve also been making my son’s Halloween costume, because of course I couldn’t just buy one. I needed to make one from scratch like I did last year. And I LOVE it; it’s going to be awesome, but it’s just another reminder of how little time there is in a day, in my life, really. Working full-time has taken so much from my life, lately. While I don’t have a physically demanding job, it is mentally exhausting and requires a lot of brain power, working between multiple computer screens and very fast-paced. By the time I leave at 5 pm, I run to get my son from daycare and we don’t get home until almost 6 pm. Then it’s time to make dinner, do a little bit of play or quality time, because I desperately miss my son, and then it’s time to get ready for bath and bed. And I am just exhausted.
By the end of the day, I’m tired. I’m so tired, I don’t even do the things I normally do. I used to do the dishes right when I got home from work. I used to start a load of laundry, too. I used to clean off the counter and put everything away, but I’m tired. Tired doesn’t even begin to cover how tired I am. I’m exhausted! Working full-time and being a full-time mom is kicking my rear. Trying to write and blog on top of it, which should be a full-time thing all on its own, is kicking my butt. And I am just too tired. The weather is changing, which is making me even more tired and teetering on the cusp of depressed.
And I know; I know I only have one kid. I know there are moms and dads who have three or four children who are probably twenty times more tired than I am. And sometimes I feel like I don’t have a right to complain about how tired I am. But gosh darnit, I’m tired!
To be painfully honest, it was so nice to not have to worry and stress about writing or blogging or tweeting, and I feel so guilty for feeling that way! It was nice to use that creative energy for something else, something that I really have truly been enjoying. Not to say that I don’t enjoy writing; I really do. But sometimes, it can be very high stress. Creating my son’s Halloween costume has been so much fun! Jackson is really into Thomas the Tank Engine right now. He loves the TV show and he also has a train table for his magnetic trains that he plays with every day. He always shouts, “Thomas! THOMAS!” and, “Choo choo, CHOO CHOO!” and it’s just too cute. It’s magical to watch him play so intensely with his trains. And I really wanted to capture this right now, so I decided to make my son a Thomas the Train costume.
I found something on Pinterest, and I plan on doing a full length post about it. Honestly, I can’t wait to see his face when I show it to him. It will be worth every late night this last week and a half staying up and painting and hot gluing cardboard together. It’ll been worth it a million times over to see how much he loves it! And it’ll be worth missing out on this week of writing. It’s been fun to spend my free time painting and creating, but I’ve desperately missed writing and connecting with all of you. I’ve felt pretty lost and lonely this last week. So while it was nice to slack off for a week, here’s to a new week that is hopefully just as productive as last week, just gearing that energy toward a different creative medium.
Thank you so much for always reading, and as always, keep on loving those little ones like only you know how. Here’s to surviving another week at parenting.